How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!",
"I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're
19. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the
economy, we are going
to have to let one of you go"