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Jokes


Why does Osama always carry a piece of shit in his pocket?
It's his photo ID
Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
because the camels can't handle it.
Children's Books You'll Never See:
"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"
"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
"The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
"Start a Real-Estate Empire with the Change from Your Mom's Purse"
"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead"
"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
"Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver"
Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots:

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film. 4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits. 5. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour. 6. Police in Reiser, Ontario, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. 7. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested. 8. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Funny shit to do in a Kmart!
Why Apple is better than Micro$oft
How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Weird ass email message
Hilarious funny shiznitz
Funny ways to order a pizza and piss off the pizza boy
Signs that you've bought a bad computer
Stupid people crap
Explaining politics using cows
SINGAPORE NATIONAL LAWS

Chewing gum on subways may result in fines and/or jail time.
The sale of gum is prohibited.
Homosexuals are not allowed to live in the country.
Oral sex is illegal unless it is used as a form of foreplay.
Pornography is illegal.
As it is considered pornographic, you may not walk around your home nude.
Failure to flush a public toilet after use may result in very hefty fines.
It is considered an offense to enter the country with cigarettes.
Cigarettes are illegal at all public places.
It is illegal to come within 50 meters of a pedestrian crossing the street.
If you are convicted of littering three times, you will have to clean the streets on Sundays with a bib on saying,"I am a litterer." This will then be broadcasted on the local news.
It is illegal to pee in an elevator.

Funny ass oxymorons
Ways to keep a healthy level of insanity
More funny jokes and shit coming soon, so stay tuned to www.redhoax.com!
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